Tuesday, June 18, 2013


I had a whole post typed out, explaining the past 3 days of chaos in our home. I deleted it. My heart didn't need to share it, and I found it to be a selfish-driven post. Instead - I chose to worship.

All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. 
I have a reason to worship!

Through the struggles of the last few days, I am choosing to focus on the Reasons. Reasons to worship.

Trying to put the hard things of the past behind me. The dessert times. Times when prayer is the only thing holding me together. Through the last weekend we have had 2 trips to the ER, one started because of Gavin's first seizure. The other was because of more brown spit up. So, what do I have to worship about?


My Savior
. He holds me together. When darkness threatens to overcome me, He is there, holding the light - showing me the way out. The thing I love most about my God, is that He knows what we have gone through, more deeply than anyone else. He has held each tear in His hand, and given us strength to push forward when we couldn't move on our own. He knows where we will be going, and we are confident that good - or bad, He will be there. Leading us, just like He always has. When I wonder if we are being punished for something we have done, I hear him gently whisper, My child - none of this is punishment. I am teaching you, growing you, molding you, and holding you tight. Hold on to me. 

My husband, who loves me. Who sees me in my lowest lows, and my highest highs. Even in my darkest days, he has loved me. An unconditional love that I don't feel I deserve. I am thankful for Him. So thankful!

We HAVE Gavin. He is ours to love, to hold, and laugh with. We dream of days ahead, and cherish each one we get to live. He is our miracle. Every shriek and squeal of joy is music to my ears! The TV is feeling very neglected, but who needs it when you have a happy baby in the house!
It is a privilege to be your mamma, baby boy!

Jason's first Father's Day. Even though it didn't go according to plan, I am so thankful that my baby boy has him for a daddy! The bond those two have fills my soul!

Our Family who support us when we need them most. Even when we don't ask for help, they are there because deep down, they know we need it.

Butterflies. They flap their beautiful painted wings and remind me of loved ones in heaven.

Legos. Let me explain this one. When Jason and I first started dating, we went up to his parents house and watched movies and put Lego sets together. Childish? Yes...but it was so much fun. Jason has a collection of Legos from when he was a little boy. An by collection, I mean a large Rubbermaid tote FULL of Lego sets. Each in their own ziploc bag, all labeled and ready for construction. Note: My organizational self LOVES this about him.
For Father's Day, Gavin gave his daddy another set to add to their collection. Turns out, he didn't want to wait for Gavin's help putting it together! I love that he hasn't lost his inner kid!

Sunshine through the clouds. This morning driving to work there were clouds in the east, but the sun was still bursting through. Touching the earth in the places that needed it most.

My job. Yes, it is work. However, it is a place I can go each day and be proud to work there. A place filled with people who genuinely care about my family. A place that I have truly enjoyed working at for the past (almost) 7 years.

Doctors & nurses who advocate for my son. Doctors who have been used by the Lord, to heal our son. In fact, the doctor who performed the esophagus surgery on Gavin, has demanded that no one touch his throat without him. A SURGEON is going to scope our son. This man is paid so much money for doing life-saving surgeries, and HE will be the one doing the endoscopy later this week. Thank you Dr. Hess, you are one in a million.

Our Home. It may still not be decorated, and there may still be boxes - but it is home! We love it, and haven't regretted  moving once!

What are your Reasons?

"God is just making the joys of parenthood sweeter for you by introducing you to the heartache early. Each anxiety we experience produces a greater appreciation for the wonderment that precious children bring into our lives." - Anon

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