My heartbeat

My sweet boy, you have changed everything with your twinkling eyes and ability to sweetly talk.

I would do anything for you,
When you are big, you won't remember any of these things, and I may forget some with time, but you need to know that

In the mornings I hold you while I do my make-up, just so I get more time with you.

You rub your forehead against mine, back and forth - it's our thing. Yours and mine.

You whisper, and when you do - I listen intently. For your sweet voice will someday be deeper and louder.

You would rather chew your books than read them, but you don't chew "Brown Bear, Brown Bear - what do you see?" - That one one special to you.

When you hold anything that is soft, you automatically put it up to your cheek and rub it there.

When I pick you up from daycare you get the biggest smile for me.

After naps or in the morning hours, we snuggle. Those moments are ours.

(Don't tell daddy, but I secretly love getting up with you on the weekends.)

I love that you pat my back when I pick you up, and you hold tight when you are scared or nervous.

You LOVE chasing daddy around the island in the kitchen. The squeals you make send my heart a'soaring!

I have snuck in your room long after you have gone asleep, just to rock you a little longer.

You see little man, you are a life changer. For both your dad and I. 

We see things differently, and cherish each day with you. 

Whatever Friday's MRI brings, whatever surgeries you may need, no matter what Gavin Lee - we will be here with you. For always.

Love - momma.

Watching daddy scoop snow. Next year you can help!

This look right here - that's trouble!!!

You are so handsome Gavin! 

4:30am we had an intruder.

A VERY cute intruder!

Thoughts

"There's a raging sea right in front of me, wants to pull me in-bring me to my knees. So let the waters rise if you want them to. I will follow you. I WILL follow you!"

This morning I am sitting on my couch, wrapped in my favorite blanket, listening to my sweet baby breathe deeply through the monitor, while songs of my Savior echo in the background. It is calm in my home. Hubs has yet to get his sleepy feet on the floor. Just me and my thoughts.

My experience with trials really began with Gavin, and his health complications. Prior to that my life had trivial "problems", the day to day annoyances anyone encounters. I am not sure if it is just a part of getting older, or if I notice the hard stuff more now because of our journey. Either way I am very aware that this world is not our home. It is imperfect. It is hard.

Over the last three weeks we have had encounters with families going through the hard unknowns of a complicated pregnancy, or having complications with their little one still in utero. A few weeks ago, we got a email that my sweet greatest uncle Dean has stage 4 lung cancer, as well as lesions on his brain, and bones. Cancer - an ugly word that recently took my loving uncle Verny home to his Heavenly Father. This world is not our home, there is a new one coming.

For now, we wait on The Lord and pray He will heal the sick and the hurting. That He will hold the mommies awake at 3am, Googling answers about the diagnosis for their baby. Praying that He will heal the fighters battling cancer.

On Friday, February 21 - we will be at the U again for a follow-up MRI for Gavin. We are praying that the fluid that was on his spine is gone, and that the hole on the top of his skull has closed. Praying for wisdom as they advise whether or not he will need surgery soon to fuse the vertebrae in his lower back, or if we will wait for a few more years. Will you pray with us?

The next day we will be going to the U of M dance marathon to share our story. I would covet your prayers as I speak to potentially 1000s of children, parents, college students, and athletes. I also ask that you pray for all of the heroes fighting in the hospital right now. Never thought we would be a "miracle family", but we will wear our shirts with honor!

Sorry for the heavy post, but this blog is a reflection of my heart - and it is heavy today.

Thank Heavens for my little sunspot!

Life according to the iPhone

My stars! How is January behind us already??? I can't believe it - and yet, I am feeling a tid bit glad to say farewell to those bitterly cold days. We made the most of them though, even if the time was all spent indoors. Here is a little glimpse into our lives.

Sick little boy.

Pneumonia - once again...

Ready to get that IV out

Can you spot him?
Now that he is crawling, we never know where he will go.

Who doesn't love little baby legs? Swoon.

"Yes son, you may have whatever you want!"

His new "Cheese" face.

So long Paci - Puppy is all the rage now.

Unofficial - "Bring your baby to work day."

All that hard work - time for a movie!

NO nap=sleeping in the jumperoo!

Life according to the iphone

While life seems to fly by without warning, my trusty iphone is there to help capture some sweet moments in our lives.

 

1. Happy in Grandpa's arms (day before surgery)   2. Snack time    3. Sharpie mugs    4. Day off with my babe    5. Standing man    6. Soaking up all of the cuddle moments - before I know it, he will be too big to cuddle.

A game of Chase

Gavin's latest craze is chasing daddy around, and around, and around...and AROUND our island in the kitchen. We got a quick clip of it, and I had to share!

Look out world - he is fixin' to be a runner soon!!

Mental Leap?

Before I dive into all things Gavin, I just wanted to thank all of you who prayed for my dad. His surgery couldn't have gone better, he is recovering at home, and doing everything the nurses tell him to. Once his 4-6 weeks of recovery are up, I am willing to bet that he will be even more energetic than before the surgery. It may sound cliche, but God is so good and I am so thankful for the fact that they caught the blockage before it led to a heart attack, and that everything has gone so well!

On to the mental leap that I believe Gavin is in the midst of. Being a preemie, he is smaller than most 13-month olds (0% for height and weight), as well as a little behind on his milestones. I tell everyone who worries about his development (myself included) that he does things on "Gavin time". This weekend, he decided to start consistently drinking out of his sippy cup whenever he was thirsty, self-feeding more than ever before (with less gagging), army crawling!, chatting up a storm, standing by himself for 4 seconds, and the kid doesn't like to be still. If he is on your lap he will be searching for your pointer fingers so he can grab hold and go for a walk. I am thinking my back could use a good re-alignment.

Lookin good in Uncle Tony's Carhart hat

Hugs for Puppy

Snack time

He is also in the process of manufacturing tooth #5, and has taken to grinding his other four teeth. Any tips on stopping that? The sound is awful, and he has managed to take a small chip out of one of is cute uppers. I have to admit that the mischievous look he gives when he does it is pretty adorable.

I am feeling so blessed that my work has agreed to adjust my schedule a bit, allowing me to have Wednesdays off! A day for just Gavin & me. That means all appointments, projects, and other things I put off until "later", will have a day all for themselves. Couldn't be happier!

Monday is off to a great start, can't wait to see what the rest of the week holds for us!

Dad's surgery

I am typing this while we are on the road. Mom and dad have gone to the hospital and surgery will be in a matter of 3-4 hrs. It will last between 4 and 6 hrs. They will do 3 bypasses. Please pray they can find the perfect veins to replace the blocked ones. Pray for the surgeon (dr. Dyke). We are seeing God's fingerprints all over. So far on our car ride the song "healer" had played, then Chris Tomlin's song that talks about "I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind- the God of Angel ARMIES is by my side!", the next one was "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" (my daddy's favorite).

We are confident that The Lord is ready to work miracles today, just like He always has. Pray for my dad's heart-it is strong! Just needs some tune-ups. Thank The Lord for my aunt and uncle Bohling who made the trip, my uncle had major heart surgery a few years ago and is a wonderful man to have by our side.

Pray for my mom. Pray for strength and she sees her husband weak, so he can become stronger. Pray for is daughters, that we can be a support system for them.

I will update as soon as we know what is going on.

Clinging to the Healer today.