I have many people who ask how I do it.
How I handle being a Medical Mama.
Truth is, by the grace of God. There is no other way. Without His help the weekly trips to the specialists at the U would be too much. Our therapy sessions would defeat me, especially when he doesn't do as well as they would have liked.
Once in a while I will ask the "why me questions", but as the days pass I can see different answers to my questions. A big one is contentment. I don't think I would have ever appreciated his milestones (big and small) nearly as much as I do. Each new word and sound thrill me.
I think all medical moms would agree - it changes the way we see.
Instead of feeling frustrated when he won't stop saying "NO!" (even when he means yes), I try to look at it as another milestone reached. As his physical therapist said - he is "right on target" for that! Oh boy!
When he gets food ALL over - like ALLLLL over - we like to say he is experiencing his food. His feeding therapist encourages us to let him do "messy play" with his food. This is messy play folks:
Daily nebulizer treatments are not only good for Gavin's lungs, but they food for my soul - 15 minutes where he sits still on my lap. Most of the time we sit in silence, or we will sing - but no matter what I end up letting my mind wander down the windy, bumpy path that we have traveled. They are sweet moments, and I wouldn't trade them for anything!
His many Doctor appointments, physical therapy sessions, and feeding therapy may seem like a burden to some. They seemed to be at first, but now I see how much they are benefiting Gavin, and now we get excited for them to come.
You see the thing is - healthy kids aren't a promise to us. Getting pregnant is indeed a miracle, and not one to take for granted. I used to see Medical Mamas and pity them - thinking about how awful their lives must be. Don't get me wrong - there are days that are hard and down-right yucky, but I don't want you to ever think I would trade them for a healthier kid. I pray that one day we will be past all of this - but until then I will look for the good in things, find ways to make moments matter, and strive to be an encouragement to others walking this path.
It isn't easy, but I will walk it with joy in my heart and a skip in my step.