Wednesday, May 28, 2014

This Mother's Day

After a perfect Mother's day, I was sitting holding Gavin in the evening - feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessing sitting in my lap. For his smiles. For his sparkling eyes that twinkle when he is excited - and also show when he is pondering doing something he shouldn't be. For his laugh that is raspy from his crazy anatomy. For his patience when doctors poke and prod him. For his personality that captivates an entire room - happened again Monday in the waiting room at Amplatz. For him - just being HIM.

The fact that God entrusted him to me still blows my mind! Sitting there with the TV in the background, husband by my side was the perfect ending to a blessed weekend.

I can't forget my other half - Jason. He spoiled me this Mother's Day. Not with fancy jewels, or expensive flowers - he gave me something more valuable than any bought gift. He gives me CONFIDENCE. This Mother's Day especially. He loves when I am unloveable. Offers patience with I am hitting every button on his internal remote. Leads our family to a life with Christ. His belief in me is making me a better mama!

My mind continued to wander as I sat there - other mama's came to mind.

One who has become a very dear friend over the past few months. She has a son with many medical unknowns - but God knows the ins and outs of his little body. A strong mama, and she is an inspiration to me!

Two mamas that I have never met, but think of constantly. The each have little girls. One with Trisomy 22, one with major heart defects. Both strong little girls with very strong mamas - both in the hospital fighting for their lives. 

One who met and said goodbye to her son within a 2 day span. A mama I again haven't met, but her son's life has forever impacted mine.

My sister who carries my sweet niece or nephew in her belly. A mama who inspite of back pain, round ligament pain, and the ever growing tummy - is a joy to be around. She is already a mama, and I can't wait to meet that sweet little nugget!

I can't forget my own mama - a woman of grace and is as selfless as they come. I have never seen another with so much love for her children. She has cared for all of us kids for 40+ years, and wants nothing more than to see us all doing well. She feeds us first, is my right hand when she is here caring for Gavin, and drives hundreds of miles to just spend time with us. She has never spoken unkindly to me, and only has nice things to say about others. She will brush these things off, but I see them - and I cherish them. She is my mama and I can only pray that I can be a mama like her someday. 

Mother's Day (to me) isn't about being "waited" on. No - it's more than that! SO much more than that. I pray that I am never a mama who demands a "wait on me day". Some days I am sure I will feel like I deserve it. When it comes down to it - God has blessed me with being a mama, and I will strive to cherish it.

I pray I do nothing less.

Love you baby boy!

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