Friday, February 19, 2016

Adjustment periods

It has been almost 2 months since miss Britton Harper joined our family of 3, and turned our world upside down in the BEST way possible. Who would have thought that one little person could be such a perfect fit in the lives of 3 others?

She arrived as planned, on December 29th, at 9:10am - screaming her way into this world. I prayed that we would be able to hear her cry when she arrived, and MAN were my prayers answered! She may have a career as a Drill Sergeant - so far she is calling the shots around this house. When she was born, I knew I had again fallen hopelessly in love with another sweet babe. I had my doubts when I was pregnant that my love for another could be matched with the love I have for Gavin. A crazy phenomenon happens when you have two kids - your love multiplies. It isn't divided among the two - it is different for each little one.

I'll be honest, my heart was stretched in a million directions on those first days. Healing from my c-section, trying to make my way through the mental fog, and not being able to have my sunshine boy with me. It wasn't easy. Gavin was full of hugs for Britton, but was a little leery of mommy being in a hospital bed. One of the last days we were there he came to visit with my parents, and I was finally able to give him a hug and walk with him - it wasn't as I expected it to be. He had seemed to have grown an extra 5 inches, gained 10 pounds, and aged 3 years. His jealousy seemed to be kicking in, and my heart immediately broke. It wasn't that he was acting out horribly, he was just not himself. After he left I wondered if life at home could be bearable, if I could connect with him again after this bond with Britton had begun. I took to texting a few dear friends who had added to their brood recently, and found encouragement that we were going to make it, that it was normal, and that it would all be okay.

Adjustment periods.

They take time - they are needed. I wanted it to be easy, seamless. I wanted to be the family that finally figured out how to throw a babe into the mix and not have a crazy shift in roles happen. Truth is, I became a mama of two. Gavin became a brother. Jason became a daddy to his daughter. So yes - we needed to adjust a lot.

I am happy to report that Gavin is doing great! There were a couple of weeks that were part three-year-old "normal" attitude issues, and part adjusting to a sister changing up his normal day. Thankfully he LOVES his sweet sister to pieces - at times I have to remind him that she is still too tiny to defend herself from the monstrous hugs he gives her.

Stay tuned for my personal tips on ways to help the adjustment period "sting" a little less.

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